Yesterday,  Candidate Walmart officially threw his hat in the ring as a Republican nominee for President of the United States.  Below is his official announcement. Check it out, and then sign up for our mailing list!

D. Weber
Campaign Manager
Candidate Walmart

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In the immortal words of Mitt Romney – “Corporations are people, my friend.”

Unlimited corporate spending on elections is the driving force in our democracy. Yet, there is a growing movement in this country to deny corporations the rights afforded to them by the Supreme Court of the United States. Los Angeles passed a resolution declaring that corporations are not people and money isn’t speech. South Carolina Democrats want to put a resolution on the ballot asking the public to vote on corporate personhood. There are even people who would blame the lingering recession and growing inequality in our society on major corporations.

That is why, today, I am officially announcing my candidacy for President of the United States. It’s time to take a stand and fight for those who have come under so much attack in recent months, the 1%. They need a strong voice in this race, and as America’s largest private employer and the world’s largest retailer, with over $480 billion in revenue in 2010, I am that voice. Some might scoff at such a notion, since no major corporation has ever even been elected to Congress. But this is America-where corporations are considered people and any retail conglomerate can grow up to be President.